


The radio

by thefaewhowrites



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Crack, honestly what am I doing, no smut but they swear and sing an inappropriate song, short crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:22:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28648260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefaewhowrites/pseuds/thefaewhowrites
Summary: Diego and Five argue. That's pretty much the plot.Inspired by WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	The radio

Five and Diego are doing what they always do; argue. They’re sitting in Diego’s car, on their way to the supermarket again.

“I can’t believe you bought the wrong damn type of cheese!” Five yells.  
“Oh, come on! Don’t make this bigger than it has to be!” Diego yells back.  
“Yeah? Well, I wouldn’t have to make it such a big deal if you had bought the right one in the first place!”  
“Are you being serious right now!?”

Diego doesn’t want to hear one more word from his brother, so he decides to turn on the radio instead.

“Hey, you can’t just- “

Diego starts to sing along loudly to the song that’s playing; which, unfortunately for Five, was WAP.

“NOW FROM THE TOP, MAKE IT DROP-”  
“Shut up!” Five screams.  
“I won’t!” Diego screams back before he continues to sing along to the lyrics, “THAT’S SOME WET-”

He couldn’t get to finish, because Five kicks the radio, literally, and breaks it. He also has the nerves to turn to Diego and grins.

“That’s what you get for being too loud when I’m trying to speak!”  
“I’m going to snap you in half, you little bastard!” Diego growls. He pulls over and takes off his safety belt.  
“Ha!” Five laughs, “you think you can beat me up? Why don’t you look over there, you see that pregnant lady walking with her two young children? Yeah, she’s going to call the police if she sees, oh, I don’t know, a grown man punching a kid.”

Diego sighs. He’s right. That’s one of the reasons why he really hates the fact that Five looks thirteen. 

“I’ll get my revenge one day, old man.” He mumbles.  
“You wish.” Five says.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry you guys had to read this lol, hope it's not too awful though.


End file.
